Throughout the last six years I’ve gained so much knowledge and insight on the process of evolving inside out. It’s been anything but easy; with each layer I uncover, I find new doors leading me to confront past choices, childhood influences, and wounds I thought I’d long since buried. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I’d understood before starting this journey of healing—insights that would have eased the process and helped me set kinder expectations for how quickly I’d see outward changes. Here are a few of those lessons that might resonate with anyone beginning their own healing path. Remember, each person’s journey is as unique as their story, background, and experiences. There’s no universal roadmap, but maybe these reflections can offer encouragement and perspective, just as they did for me!
Committing to Your Decision to Change or Pursue Better for Yourself:
One of the biggest challenges I’ve seen in myself and others when it comes to creating radical change is a lack of true commitment to the decision. Often, we crave a different story or a new path in life, yet we cling to familiar patterns, one hand reaching for something new while the other holds tightly to the past.
I’ve learned that when God sends signs that it’s time to change, evolve, or let go, we have two choices: we can choose to follow our intuition (which takes time to cultivate) or ignore the signs until we reach a rock bottom that forces us to act. Many of us sit with a low-level dissatisfaction, knowing we need a shift but feeling too comfortable or too afraid of the unknown to take the leap.
Personally, I’ve had to hit rock bottom more than once before finally committing to change. Now, as I’ve grown and learned to recognize these patterns, I’ve become less resistant to the whispers God sends when it’s time to move forward. For the new to arrive, we must fully commit to closing the door on the old version of ourselves that no longer serves our highest good.
Embrace Grief, Especially Early in Your Healing Journey: One of the most profound insights I’ve gained through my healing process is the importance of getting comfortable with grief. Ideally, we might wish to feel only positive emotions like hope, encouragement, and acceptance. But a vital part of growth is learning to navigate the grief that often arises as we evolve. Each time you reach a new level, you’re called to let go of the old version of yourself—the one that accepted or allowed experiences that no longer align with who you’re becoming. Allow yourself the grace to feel those emotions: the disappointment, the fear of release, the anger at what you allowed, and the sadness of closing that chapter. The key, however, is not to get stuck in them.
This process of honoring and releasing difficult emotions creates space for new growth and lets positive feelings emerge from the ashes of what you’ve left behind. Many people shy away from these heavier emotions, believing them to be inherently “bad,” but they’re simply part of the full spectrum of feeling.
By numbing the difficult emotions, we also numb our ability to fully experience joy, love, and hope. Allowing yourself to feel the full range—even the tough emotions—opens the door to a deeper sense of connection and growth. In the beginning, this grief may feel especially intense, as you’re likely unaccustomed to feeling it so fully. But over time, as you learn to embrace it, the process of grieving an old belief or wound will no longer feel so overwhelming.
Your First Spiritual Awakening is Just the Beginning: Your spirit may achieve full awareness and understanding of the bigger picture, but your mind and body often take longer to catch up. That’s why you’ll often hear the phrase “aligned in mind, body, and spirit”. When I experienced my first spiritual awakening, it felt like an out-of-body experience—truly transformative. While reading The Power of Now and reaching the final pages of The Seat of the Soul, something shifted within me, as if the last puzzle piece had finally fallen into place. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, setting my book aside, and absorbing Gary Zukav’s final words. Up until that moment, I had lived as a perpetual victim, feeling as though every decision I made was forced upon me. I was too afraid to express my true self. In that instant of awakening, my life flashed before my eyes, revealing the sequence of choices I had made up to that point.
I realized that, while there had been significant peer pressure and influence from others, I had ultimately made the final choices that contradicted my true desires. I felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted, and suddenly, the world began to make sense. I believed this newfound insight would lead to a perfect life; I felt compelled to share my revelation with everyone around me.
But the reality was quite the opposite—many thought I was crazy because what I had discovered was completely foreign to them. My spirit had been activated, yet my trauma and the weight of my past experiences were still very much alive in my mind and body. Navigating this understanding was challenging while I was still facing intense triggers, grappling with low self-esteem, and processing grief. I had yet to gather the tools necessary to balance and regulate my nervous system. This was just the beginning of a long journey to unlearn the burdens I had accumulated and to reparent myself into a healthier version of me. So, be patient with yourself as you learn and grow, and remember that while the veil has been lifted, there’s still much to discover.
People Come into Your Life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime: If you’re like me—an empathetic and highly sensitive individual who has always craved genuine love and affection—this lesson can be challenging to accept. We often find ourselves trained to hold on to relationships for as long as possible, becoming “ride or dies” even when some individuals don’t truly deserve that loyalty. Compounding this is a deeply ingrained cultural tendency to seek validation from others, striving to be liked and avoiding ruffling any feathers of social norms. The fear of being ostracized is not something we easily embrace.
As you grow and create positive changes in your life, understand that the shift in your energy and mindset will disrupt your external world. Up until this point, others have formed judgments about who they believe you are, often associating with people who vibrate at a similar frequency.
There’s an unspoken understanding among you that you share certain insecurities and a lack of self-awareness, which is perfectly acceptable while you’re all enjoying the experience together. However, as you evolve, the people around you will begin to sense this energetic shift. Some may try to keep you at their level to avoid confronting their own lack of growth, while others might distance themselves because you’ve moved into a different timeline. Alternatively, some will support your growth, allowing you to evolve and embracing the new version of you. For me, it felt as if the universe declared that none of these people could accompany me into the next chapter, resulting in their swift removal—either by their own choice or through my realization that these connections no longer fulfilled or brought me peace.
While making these decisions might seem straightforward, I grieved each connection that left, feeling the weight of their absence. It wasn’t easy to let go, especially when I hoped some would join me on my journey of evolution. The parting was often anything but graceful, and I frequently took it personally, especially regarding how others treated me during my lowest moments. The key is to recognize who is in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. You’ll know when you meet your true soulmates—those who activate something within you, making you feel alive, seen, and deeply appreciated for who you truly are.
Some people enter our lives as lessons, bringing with them such force and passion that we might initially think, “Wow, this energy is incredible; they’ll be in my life forever.” However, we quickly learn that their purpose is often to trigger past wounds we may have buried so deeply that it takes the pain they inflict for us to recognize what needs to be acknowledged and released. These lesson-bearers reveal the shadow sides of our personalities, highlighting traits we may dislike or aspects where we lack boundaries, allowing others to take advantage of us. They teach us who we no longer want to be or prompt us to question why their behavior annoys us so much. Could it be that we see reflections of ourselves in them? In my own moments of shame and lack of self-awareness, I’ve found that these individuals mirror back parts of me that require evolution or compassion.
Some people come into our lives as brief but impactful lessons, opening doors that change us completely. While it can be hard to find the silver lining with these “seasonal” connections, I’ve come to appreciate their role. Some individuals have shaken me to my core, and letting them go has been painful. Yet, I’m grateful, as they served as vessels for my growth, portals to deeper healing, and catalysts for my own evolution. They taught me discernment. The key is to take the lesson and leave the resentment behind. This isn’t always easy, but don’t let these experiences dim your light. Don’t let them make you afraid to love, connect, or be vulnerable again. Whatever rejection or hurt they brought was never a reflection of your worth, but rather an invitation to view yourself through a new lens.
Be patient as you wait for those who are meant to stay for a lifetime—those who love you for who you are and encourage your continual evolution. These connections take time to find, and often you must go through a few lessons before you meet the people who will cherish the very traits others once criticized. I’ve noticed that my lifelong friends didn’t arrive with an intense “love at first sight” energy. Instead, there was an initial spark, a sense of familiarity, like, “Have I met you before?” But our bond grew slowly, with time and trust.
The most memorable moments with true friends weren’t necessarily during the good times, but in moments when they received me kindly, even at my lowest or when boundaries were being defined. These friends reassured me, “I’m here. I’m not leaving. I see you, I see your heart, and this experience doesn’t change how I feel about you.” They didn’t use me to feel better about themselves but genuinely valued me for who I am. They allow me to grow and change without imposing their own judgments or fixed beliefs about who they think I should be.
True friends are honest and point out areas where you can grow, not for their own benefit but for yours. They see when a trait or behavior might be holding you back and offer guidance because they care about your journey, not because they want to mold you into someone else.
There are many more lessons I’ve learned throughout my healing journey, but for now, I’ll leave you with these. I hope these insights support anyone else moving through the process of becoming a healthier, more evolved version of themselves. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you grow and change. Even if you’re not always proud of the person you were before you gained clarity, remember that every past version of you still deserves to be seen, loved, and nurtured. As Maya Angelou said, “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” Those versions of you needed to exist so that you could become every future version yet to come. Don’t box yourself in; allow yourself the freedom to be an ever-evolving human being.
Thank you for taking the time to join me in this reflection. I hope you leave – A little more inspired. XOXO – Blanca
A Little More Inspired 
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