I’ve been in a period of self-reflection, diving deep into my core values around connection, friendship, and community. I’ve been examining the recurring themes and patterns that have played out in my life. For me to move through pain and truly grow, I feel I have to understand why people, myself included, act the way we do.

I would love to say that I’ve always had a constant, supportive circle of friends, people who’ve had my back through every high and low. But the topic of friendship often brings me shame. I see how people with few connections are judged, and online, I see these fun, vibrant friend groups that seem to share amazing experiences without the drama and secret animosity that has always seem to find its way into my friendships. The truth is, I’ve had a really difficult time forming and maintaining connections. These struggles have forced me to face my own shadows. I’ve had some really tough experiences with connection over the years.

When I was younger, I had this bright, excited spirit. I wanted to meet new people, experience the world, and be FREE. Every interaction felt like a new rollercoaster to ride. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that not every rollercoaster is worth riding. My relentless need for freedom and expansion has come with the sobering knowledge that boundaries are absolutely necessary in the game of life.It’s taken me a long time to grasp the reality of this game, the game of envy.

It’s like an essence that sits within all of us, one we can’t escape. Even when you think, “That’s not me, I don’t struggle with envy,” you’re wrong. Because resisting being consumed by this game takes real effort, spiritual strength, humility, and a constant search for self-awareness. Whether we like it or not, envy will always be there, testing us.

They say that by envy and jealousy, death entered the world. When the prince of the earth, once a bearer of light, the most beautiful angel, learned of God’s plan to create fragile beings—humans. That He would one day become one of us and die for His love for us, that angel was overcome with envy.

“How could God create beings so unworthy? How could He love them more than me?”

He refused to serve, believing that humans were beneath him, mere peasants.
So, his pride cast him down to the earth, where he now roams, corrupting our minds & hearts through the very same vice that corrupted his: envy.

We live in a time where ego floods everything. Everyone is trying to prove they’re smarter, richer, prettier, more powerful. And in that illusion, we lose ourselves, turning our souls into battlegrounds in the race for superiority.

But all of this is false.

God’s love is unconditional, far beyond our comprehension.

Waking up from the illusion of envy and jealousy is essential for spiritual growth. Finding humility and constantly resisting the temptation to slip back into ignorance is how we evolve.

Join me as I share my personal journey of unpacking my wounds around envy and jealousy, and how these experiences have shaped my life. Because in this world, we have to develop a strong sense of self to make it through in one piece. Envy has a way of sneaking into our lives, corrupting our friendships, our families, and our communities. It’s a game everyone seems to be playing, a game designed to strip you of your light if you’re naive or unaware of your worth. You will be chewed up and spit out until you learn to stop being a victim and realize you are in the GAME. How do we stay in the game, with out turning into hateful people?

Learning to recognize envy and jealousy, both in ourselves and in others, is how we protect our spirit and stay in the game of life without losing our morals or integrity. We are all susceptible to envy. While I speak of these experiences from the perspective of how I’ve personally been affected by them, I too have felt and projected this negative spirit. Because envy takes root with one small thought, until you realize you’ve created a whole story about why you’re superior to your friend, sister, or brother.

So, please enjoy this episode as I dive deeper into the topics of envy and jealousy. I hope you leave feeling a little more inspired.

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