I’m continuing Part 2 of my exploration of the book Humility of Heart by Father Cajetan de Bergamo. This spiritual classic, written in the 1700s, carries wisdom that feels just as relevant today as it did centuries ago.

In this part of the series, I focus on how pride quietly and subtly attaches itself to the heart. Most of us fail to notice it when it happens. Pride rarely shows up loudly — it sneaks in through habits, assumptions, defenses, and unexamined beliefs. That’s why it’s important to understand the very first step in evolving the heart and ego toward humility. It’s not something we can switch on and off. If it were that easy, humility wouldn’t be the lifelong struggle it truly is — the constant battle against our own pride.

This book reminded me of a moment of clarity I had several years ago — an epiphany of sorts — when I realized that most of us are walking through life wearing foggy glasses. The stronger our pain, our wounds, and the illusions we’ve absorbed from the world, the thicker those glasses become. These illusions often come from our upbringing, inherited trauma, family stories, or cultural narratives passed down through generations. Over time, they distort how we see ourselves, life, and the decisions we make every day.

Much of this distortion is driven by a victim mindset and an overprotective ego that believes it exists to keep us safe — but ends up making decisions for us. We all carry wounds. We all have a part of ourselves that becomes angry, jealous, defensive, or insecure. That part is constantly scanning the world and others, trying to locate itself in some imagined hierarchy. We want to be seen. We want to be accepted. We want relief from the pain of feeling “less than.” And so we adopt ideas of superiority and inferiority just to survive the story the world tells us.

These foggy glasses create immense suffering, because we end up living our entire lives based on an unclear picture of reality. We believe we know everything there is to know without ever questioning it, and we cling to that ignorance as if it were life or death. Eventually — as it did for me — you hit a breaking point. A deep exhaustion. A rock bottom where you realize you hate the story you’re living and the endless inner battle you can’t seem to understand or conquer. Sometimes, in that desperation, you get on your knees and say: God, please help me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I hate the way I’ve been living. And in that moment of surrender, you finally admit: I know nothing. Please show me the truth.

That is exactly what happened to me. In that surrender, humility was awakened. God began to show me how deeply asleep I had been — how unclear my vision of myself and the world truly was. Slowly, the foggy glasses were removed. I began to see that I didn’t actually know anything true about myself. That I had been living from illusions, fears, and false narratives. And that my pride — my attachment to my own ignorance — had been the very thing causing so much unnecessary suffering. This is the doorway into humility. The beginning is realizing that real change requires surrendering the old to discover the new — releasing the lies and fears we’ve carried for years, and loosening the grip of an ego that was formed to protect us, not to guide us.

This episode is about overcoming pride through humility, and how the door opens through the pursuit of self-knowledge. It begins with the understanding that we don’t actually know anything as well as we think we do. True humility starts when we seek the truth of who we are and where we stand in the world. It’s the slow unshedding of false identities and adopted stories, and the realization that we are not so different from one another — that we are human beings on a spiritual journey, all heading toward the same destination.

When I had that initial epiphany years ago, it sparked a deep desire to understand my inner world. I read what felt like hundreds of psychology and spiritual books because I wanted to understand why I behaved the way I did. The more I learned to regulate and understand my inner life, the more peaceful my outer life became. I was able to let go of people, habits, and attachments that were no longer aligned with my growth. This process of unshedding is not easy, and it’s easy to mistake moments of clarity for the pinnacle of healing. You might think, I’m good now. I know what peace is, but I’ve come to realize that humility is a daily practice. It is a continual awareness of how easily I can become stuck or prideful in my own thinking. As certain wounds healed, new layers of self-discovery opened up, Because self-knowledge is a personal journey between you and God, one that requires asking Him for truth and clarity in the areas where you may still be blind.

As I’ve said before, humility is not self-deprecation, and it’s not self-exaggeration. It’s truth.

One of my more recent pursuits has been learning about my heritage and ancestry — not so I can elevate myself above others, but so I can see myself truthfully. As a woman of Indigenous descent with roots in Central America, in El Salvador, there are many narratives the world has tried to impose on people who look like me. Through curiosity and humility, I’ve asked God to show me the truth — to see the beauty of my skin and features without the inherited shame that has followed my people for centuries. Self-knowledge is the beginning of humility. When you seek truth with God and allow yourself to be continually corrected, clarity comes.

Humility is the foundation of true spirituality. Without it, we don’t make the progress we think we are. Many people focus heavily on religious rules — which are important — but the deepest spiritual work begins inwardly, in overcoming our own pride. You can do everything outwardly “right,” yet the ego can still turn faith into competition, judgment, and performance. When humility is rooted in the heart, obedience becomes natural — not forced. Outer practices begin to flow from inner transformation. The real work begins when we ask ourselves the hard questions.

Questions to reflect on:

Am I neglecting my inner spiritual life?
Am I practicing self-awareness?
Do I notice my need for superiority?
My defensiveness?
My entitlement?
My judgment of others?
My need to always be right?
My craving for praise?
My resistance to correction?

This is where the real work happens. When the inner life is formed, right action follows naturally. All of this begins with the journey of self-knowledge — a path that takes time, patience, and humility. There is no competition in this journey. There is no ranking of who is further along. It is personal, sacred, and between you and God. And if you’re fortunate, along the way you may meet others who are also searching for truth rather than the stories the world tells.

As always, I invite you to learn alongside me as I continue to grow in my understanding of humility.I hope you leave feeling a little more inspired.

Episode 2: Overcoming Pride Through Self-Knowledge (Follow me on YouTube!)

Catch the full episode on Spotify — linked here!

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