I recently started reading a book I casually picked up at the library called The Passion of Christ Through Mary’s Eyes. I was raised in a Catholic household, so I’ve always had a deep connection to Mother Mary. She’s been a divine feminine figure throughout my life, someone my family has always revered for her purity of heart and her devotion to carrying out the mission of her Son, Jesus Christ.

I truly love Mary. She inspires me with her nurturing and loving spirit. She was divinely chosen for a sacred mission because of the integrity of her character. I love learning about how much Jesus loved His mother, how she endured a life of trials, tribulations, and deprivation right alongside Him. Even in His lowest moments, Mary never let herself be overcome by fear or shame. She loved her Son. And He loved her.

I genuinely wish I had even a droplet of her virtues. So any chance I get to learn more about her, I take it.

This book moved me to tears. One moment in particular, where St. Anselm describes Mary’s experience watching the Passion of Christ, completely stayed with me. It felt like it speaks directly to the spiritual fracture we’re living in today, especially in how men and women relate to one another.

Here’s the quote, as Jesus carries His Cross, speaking to the women of Jerusalem:

“A great multitude of the people followed Him, and among them many women, who mourned and lamented for Him. But there also followed Him some wicked and malicious boys, who threw stones at Him. Jesus turned to the women who grieved for Him and said to them:

Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for Me, but for yourselves and for your children—these ones who are now throwing stones and mud at Me! Truly, they know not what they do. For soon the day will come when they shall say that those who are childless are fortunate. They shall say that the womb that has never carried an infant is lucky, and that the breasts which have never nursed a baby are blessed! And they shall say to the mountains, “Fall upon us!” and to the hills, “Cover us!”

For if your children commit these acts of cruelty now while the wood is still green — that is, while they are but children — what crimes and horrors shall they commit by the time the wood has become dry — that is, once they are mature?

And if they inflict such sufferings and ignominy on Me, what atrocities and cruelties shall future generations not do to the saints who follow Me?’”

That quote deeply moved me. It feels like we’re living in the time He was describing —of the fortunate women who are childless. Growing up in a Christian household, I often felt like we were raised or honestly, brainwashed to be “pick me” girls. There’s so much emphasis on male validation, on being worthy of a man’s attention, on finding a husband to complete you.

Meanwhile, men aren’t always taught anything spiritual, yet they often end up using religion to control the narrative, about society, and about the roles of men and women. Men are taught that they are inherently important. That their needs and desires should be fulfilled simply because they are men. Women are seen as the subservient gender, here to make men’s lives better, to serve them, to swoon at their feet.

It often feels like modern Christianity teaches us that men are the ones called to lead society forward, while women are supposed to take this quiet, passive role. But when I read about Jesus, I see something totally different.

Women played a significant role in His journey. Apart from the apostles, it was the women who were present. They supported Him. They showed up in love, in compassion, in understanding. They met Him with open hearts, while the men in the stories often struggled, torn between ego, fear, and their desire to be righteous.

That part of the story, when Jesus tells the women not to weep for Him but for the young boys — that part hit me so hard. Because I see it now. Men aren’t held to the same expectation to grow spiritually. They’re raised to seek power and control, rather than look within. They’re disconnected from their interior world, the place where compassion is born.

I think there is a spiritual fracture in the doctrine. Men raised in patriarchal societies are taught to see themselves as gods, that they know what’s best and never need to seek wisdom from within. And women are taught to look to men for value, to wait for their validation to feel worthy. In the end, neither gender is actually looking for the true God. Men are disconnected from their hearts, taught not to cry, not to feel, not to reflect. Taught that strength equals dominance, not self-awareness. They worship a version of Jesus that’s more militant king than suffering servant. They’re not even taught to respect women or recognize how we could help one another.

Women are conditioned to be “worthy” of them, trained to mold ourselves for male approval. Taught that a husband is our destiny, our purpose, even our savior. We sacrifice not just our time, but our voices… our souls.

God is replaced — not with love, but with power.
Men play God.
Women worship men.
Faith is used to subjugate, not to liberate.

But the women at the Cross — they didn’t follow Jesus because He was a man.
They followed Him because He was Love Incarnate.

They didn’t worship His maleness, they wept for His pain, stood by His TRUTH, and saw God in His eyes.
When the men ran, the women stayed. When the men coward, the women followed.
When the disciples scattered, Mary stood at the foot of the Cross.

She didn’t need a pedestal.
She didn’t need power.
She stood in grief, in faith, in fierce love.

The women described Jesus as this gentle man — full of peace.

You know, when Peter pulled out his sword to defend Jesus and cut the soldier’s ear off, Jesus immediately healed the soldier. He said, “Put away your sword. Those who live by the sword will die by the sword.”

I feel like Jesus came to show us the wisdom and peace that lives within all of us. And the women in the stories — they understood that.

This isn’t about saying women are better than men. Not at all. I believe we’re all equally inherently important in the story of existence.

I guess I’ve just come to this realization as a young woman. I’m always being asked, “When are you going to meet a husband?” And don’t get me wrong.

I’d love to meet someone who inspires me to be a better human being. Someone who leads me closer to my divine purpose, just as I would want to do for him.

But I’ve realized: a man is not my God.

I want a partnership that is filtered through the lens of Christ’s mission, through growth, grace, and inner work. And the more I learn about Mary and Joseph — their love, their quiet obedience, their mutual devotion to God — the more I see the purpose of both men and women: to follow God’s guidance, hidden within our interior worlds.

Too often, we are taught the opposite.

So I guess what I’m saying is…
we’re all here to look inward.
To support one another on the journey of life, not to be at war over which gender matters more. Or is to blame for our inner misery.

Joseph never told Mary to dim her light.
She is the Queen of Angels.

And when God chose her to be the Mother of Christ,
He also needed a man rooted in healthy masculinity and Integrity in Character. A man whose mission was to protect his family,
but more importantly, to obey the divine plan. Joseph had a deep respect for Mary — and Mary for him.

Together, I believe they are the true example of what men and women can become: Wise people rooted in kindness, integrity, peace, strength, and courage. Even in the face of temptation, fear, and struggle, they never stumbled from their mission.

Anyway…
I hope this rant made sense and you leave feeling a little more inspired.

Don’t forget to subscribe below to receive email notifications for my next blog post! Or, if you prefer, follow me on Instagram where I post updates for every new blog entry!